The Thing About History Textbooks

So, I'm doing my readings for history. Well not really. I should be doing my history readings but instead I am blogging about it, but you get the idea.
I am a history nerd. Not as bad as my brother, but I have always loved history. It's all like a story folding out in front of you. It is astonishing, however, how easy it is to make bloody battles and assassination attempts sound as boring as the stock market statistics. (If you think the stock market is interesting, please substitute in something you find extremely boring)
Whenever I am reading my history textbook, my eyes start to glaze over and I nod off, and I'm reading about murder, and scandal, and death. How is it that historians can make it sound so boring? No wonder so many people find history boring.
I think, that history should be written, like a novel. Way more people would read it, and those of us who have to do our required readings would not die of boredom.
But then, the world would work quite differently, if I were in charge. For starters:
1. People would burst into song and random passersby would do choreographed dances; like in musicals.
2.Teenie boppers would be cool.
3. March 14 would be an international holiday.
4. You would be able to eat as many mozzarella sticks and/or brownies as you like, and not gain a pound.
5. Knowledge could be acquired through osmosis.
And that's just a start........