Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Monsters Unleashed

The family I work for are pet people, to say the least. The interesting thing though about these so called pets, is that they are both the most unlikely animals you would expect a family with small children to have. First off, there is Bear. Bear is the Smith's dog.They could not have picked a better name for this dog, as Bear is exactly what this dog looks like. I am not sure if Bear is a girl or a boy, as I have heard Bear called both him and her. So I call Bear "it." It is a big dog, taller than the younger boy, and the same height as the older. Like I said before, Bear is not a dog, it is a bear pretending to be a dog. Bear is huge and black and hairy, and it always comes barrelling down the hallway at such a terrific speed that I have to yank my nanny children out of harms way before they're trampled. I like to keep Bear outside, if only for my personnal safety, but with this heat, there is only so long one can keep a giant, long haired black dog in the yard.
This morning, I arrived at work to be greeted with bad news from my employers: Bear was missing. Somehow, during the night, Bear had wandered off and was nowhere to be found. My guess is that it just charged down the gate. Anyway, my employers told me to maybe make missing posters with the boys and post them around the neighbourhood. Before the boys could even finish their breakfast, I got a call from the Smith's neighbours, saying that they had Bear, and we could come and pick it up. I was astonished by the complete amiable tone taken on by this neighbour. The way he was describing Bear, you'd think we was talking about a newborn puppy, not a, bear. I went to this neighbours house wondering if we were in fact, talking about the same dog, and sure enough, this "lovable, docile" dog was Bear. My employers were overjoyed to find Bear, but baffled as to how thier neighbours, who, incidently, they've never met, had recognized Bear as theirs. Again, I had my own explanation in my head. I mean, if you saw someone periodically walking down your street with a bear, wouldn't you take notice?
And then, as if that isn't enough, there is the issue of their cat. Where the name Bear fits the dog to a tea, the cat's name couldn't be more ironic. Snugglepuss, is the most vicious, violent, meanest cat I have ever met. You would expect him to be one of those barn cats that roams around an acreage eating mice and hissing at people. Yet, Snugglepuss is the cat of a family in Hawkwood with little kids. I mean, having a giant bear as a pet is interesting enough, but add Snugglepuss, and you've got a children-eating zoo. Snugglepuss's favoutite past time is leaping on the kids and either scratching or biting them. And it's not just that, I swear that cat's goal in life is to be as irritating as possible. Whenever the boys are playing cars, or setting up something elaborate on the floor, Snugglepuss oh so conveniently decides to take a nap right in the middle of the game. And when I try to move him, cause the kids don't dare touch him, he writhes and claws away until I drop him out of fear. As if that weren't enough, Snugglepuss has really creepy eyes. I know all cats have slightly slanted, mysterious eyes, but seriously, Snugglepuss looks at me and I duck away to avoid his gaze. If you haven't got my point about Snugglepuss yet, let me just say this. Today the boys and I went on a Dinosaur Safari in the backyard. The boys were using all kinds of creatures (mostly bugs) to represent various kinds of dinosaurs. Guess which creature played the role of the T Rex, which they practiced running away from? Why, yes. Snugglepuss.
My sister likes to complain about our fromer next door neighbours cat- Jack. Jack is also an interesting cat, he just casually wanders around the neighbourhood, knowing no boundaries, including our house, which he visits regularly. We all loved Jack, except Janine, who thought he was a vicious, scary cat. Let me tell you, Jack, and any other "scary" pet, is no match for the pet bear and Mr. Not-So-Snuggly-Puss.

1 comment:

Janine said...

I did not think Jack was vicious! Just creepy. And gross.