Thursday, February 3, 2011

Divine Voicemails

Do you ever zone out while waiting for someone to answer the phone and then forget who you're calling when they answer? I do all the time.

A big part of my job is to call my clients when they've taken an extended absence and figure out how they're doing and how many cheats they've made that have caused them to avoid me. Basically this means I spend a portion of everyday talking to people's voicemails.

It's happened several times that when I connect with this voicemail, or the rare live person that I start talking and can't remember who I'm calling, so I have to glance down at the file and remind myself who I am talking to.

With zoning out I have also completely forgotten what kind of call I'm making. A few years ago, when I was a receptionist, I called a girl from church and got in touch with her voicemail. My message went something like this:

"Hey Tera, this is Elena from Dr. Redd's office calling . . . oh no wait, I am not at work. Tera this is Elena, your visiting teacher. Give me a call when you get this."

Kinda embarassing, but yesterday out-awkwards that message by a long shot. While making calls and talking to a plethora of voicemails, things can get pretty routine. While making yet another call, I got my client's voicemail. We will call her Betsy. Betsy's voicemail has one of those long messages that makes you wonder if you will ever get to leave a message, and having already had an exhausting and stressful morning, I completely lost track of where I was and what I was doing. When the beep sounded, I started to pray into Betsy's answering machine.

"Dear Heavenly Father, We thank th. . ."

I caught myself before I went much further. What was I doing? Was I that close to leaving a prayer on Betsy's machine? What do I do now? Dang, it, I was still recording. Taking the only rational course of action, I hung up, waited an hour, left her a real voicemail, and hoped Betsy didn't see her diet counselor and the person who misdialed her looking for God were not calling from the same number.

Has anyone else ever had such a disastrous phone message?


Money and Moni said...

Hahaha. That is hilarious Elena!

Katey said...

I actually answered the phone with a prayer once, but whether it was for that call or that they'd leave me alone I can't remember.

Brendan said...

Elena, I've certainly left some awkward messages on voicemails. I have been known to become tongue-tied even when I know who I am, so when I forget what's going on it really gets messy. Needless to say, I've left some extremely confusing messages for people and have likewise prayed that they don't have caller ID. One time I started leaving a message, and realized that the first sentence out of my mouth sort of rhymed with itself, and so I tried to make my second and third sentences rhyme along with it sort of like an improv rap poem thing. I won't try to tell you how bad that turned out.

Colleen said...

Oh Elena, that is fabulous!!! I wish you had a video of it because I can imagine your horrified face, and it would be hilarious to watch!

That said, I left a horrendous message while I was at CGC this summer. I was leaving a voicemail with the office address, but then I forgot the postal code, so while it was still recording, I asked one of my coworkers, who then had to look it up. I apologized to the lady saying, "Sorry this was a terrible voicemail..."