Thank You. Now Get Me Off This Stupid Board!

WARNING: This blog may come across as a bit derogatory towards our healthcare and those who work in the industry. For the record, I am very appreciative of all the paramedics, nurses, and doctors involved in this incident.

Car accidents are no fun.

On Thursday January 31, after school (after quite a good day I might add) I was driving home when I smashed into the car ahead of me on Crowchild. Do not ask me for the details. All you need to know is I smashed.

So I get out of my car, make sure the other guy is okay (he's way too nice, considering), and then the ambulance shows up. The paramedics ask us both if we're okay. I mention that my neck is a little sore. Bam! Papramedic immediately puts his hands around my neck.

"Don't move, look around or blink! You might be paralyzed!" he says.

For crying out loud, I thought it was just whiplash. But hey, this guy's just doing his job, so I go with it.

They say they have to take me to the hospital. My neck may be broken so they have to run some x-rays. I'm basically sure my neck isn't broken, but to keep the nice paramedics happy, I play along.

Finally they let me call my mom. The only problem is, they still didn't know exactly where they were taking me, so my conversation went something like this:

"Hi Mom, I've been in a car accident. I have to go to the hospital. No I don't know what's wrong with me. No, they haven't told me which hospital yet. I have to go cause they're putting a brace around my neck, I'll call you."

And then of course, they took away my phone, so I couldn't call her back. My poor parents are sitting at home wondering where I am, only knowing I'm alive, but no more, and they can't even find out what hospital I'm in cause I'm an adult and that's "classified information."

So here I am, in the hospital, alone, wearing a neck brace and strapped onto a board. They didn't even let me sit down by myself, cause of "injuries."

The doctor comes by, and asks me if I'm in any kind of pain. Seeing as the only thing that's bothering me is my inability to move, I say no. Stiffness isn't what she's talking about.

So they go ahead and order the x-rays. Keep in mind, that this entire time, I am strapped onto a very uncomfortable board, I have been forbidden to move even an inch, and my neck is in a brace so I have no choice but to stare at the stained ceiling.

They wheel me to the x-ray place, and leave me in the hall for the x-ray technicians to come and collect me. Through this whole ordeal, I'd kept a pretty brave face. But laying there, in the hallway of the hospital all alone, strapped to board that's starting to get painful, and not even being able to turn my head made me want to cry. I have never felt so pitiful.

They take the x-ray, and wheel me back. After I'm dropped off in the hall again, and dropped off outside the emergency room. Laying there, waiting for verdict, I'm in excrutiating pain, and not from my car accident, from that stupid board. I'm still alone, but I can hear the sound of people talking nearby. This is when I really started to cry.

Eventually, one of the nurses notices, and tells the doctor to hustle up. She affirms what I knew from the start, that my neck is not, in fact, broken. She asks me if I'm in any pain again, and this time, I say;

"Yes. From the board."

I said it nicely though. I actually wanted to scream. At last, at long last, they let me off that stupid thing, and my dad finally squeezes the whereabouts out of the hospital policies and picks me up.

All right seriously, I appreciate our healthcare system, but if I haven't already gotten my point across, sometimes they're completely ridiculous.

Murray Shooting His Mouth Off

I have this professor named Murray Cunningham. Or, Murray. We never call him anything else. He teaches me Broadcasting and News Agenda and everyday he says the most outrageous things. He always makes sure we know when he's telling us something important and when he's "shooting his mouth off," but I'm still laughing through most of his classes. It occurred to me the other day that I want to remember some of the things this guy says, cause, well, I think it's funny. You probably won't, but I'm writing them anyway, cause I think it's funny, and Marie might too. Or other journalism students, but I know Marie will read this.
(When asked who to use for shooting a visual sequence) "I don't care if you shoot your MOTHER."
(Said at the beginning of every class) "We'll start now, cause we always start on time."
(When describing complaints sent into the TV station) "Men are like whatever and women are all like Rawrrrr!" (with clawing action)
"The most important part of TV is hair."
(The affects of mentioning animals on the news) "Plastic bags, blah, blah, blah. I'm doing my stuff, and then Aha! The sea turtles!"
(All said in describing how to write copy stories):
"A bank, Was robbed. Yesterday." (Said with typing action)
"We tell stories. We tell tales. We spin yarns."
"CBC. This is a word pronounced Cubuk."
"Broadcasters are a unigue batch of retarded people."
No, I can't explain it to you. But it's funny if you know Murr. This list will continue..............